I'm probably gong to regret posting this later but for right now I'm full of hurt and I need to get some things on my chest. I am just sitting here thinking to myself how happy I am that my family and I can participate in al-anon meetings. Right now I feel totally defeated and broken down. I didn't think things could get any worse and they have. I don't understand it and I'm extremely angry right now. I hate what addiction turns people into. I just need to keep focusing on my boys and try to get through this day by day (today minute by minute). This week I am actually looking forward to my 90 minute cry fest on tuesday nights. I just need to keep telling myself this great al-anon saying
Let go and let God
The serenity prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
My goals are to forgive the people that hurt me and let them go, as hard as that will be I need to find the strength to do it.